Getting a decent blow job can be hard enough, but getting a blow job at all can sometimes be even harder. There are many reasons why your sweet cheeks may not be forthcoming with her lovely lips. Some of them are easy to work around, while some are not.

It is noteworthy -- albeit blindingly obvious -- that the biggest reason women fear putting a penis in their mouths is bad hygiene. Don't ever expect her to go down on you if you're unclean. This includes being very hairy in the pubic area; a stray hair, smegma buildup and stench can really ruin her day, and definitely won’t get her pulse racing. Not only that, but she’ll think it's like that all the time and will just avoid it altogether.

Some women are afflicted with sexual difficulties, namely putting an erect penis in their mouths. See how you can overcome her blow job hang-ups.

Doesn’t want semen in her mouth
Easy: Don’t come in her mouth! If you promise not to, keep your word -- always. If you ever decide to "accidentally" surprise her and forget to pull away or warn her, then her blow job hang-ups are going to become flat-out blow job rejections. If she does want to try it, no doubt she will tell you in no uncertain terms. Obviously, unless you're in a trusting, long-term commitment where both partners have been tested, you should be using condoms anyway and the subject should never arise.

Fear of gagging
If one of her blow job hang-ups is a fear of gagging, just stay still and let her operate you as she sees fit. You can, of course, direct from above, but just keep still and she'll find her way. She needs to trust that you're going to let her work at her own pace and not jam her head down. It could be that you may have to live with the fact that she has a sensitive gag reflex and can’t take you in very far. Don’t force it or you'll only make her that more resistant to the act. Be careful about how you place your hands on her head -- if she even wants you to -- and resist the urge to thrust into her as this could cause her to gag.

Feeling inadequate or physically unprepared
Sometimes it just isn’t the right time: She may have a dry mouth, cracked lips, be unclean, or for some reason find herself physically unprepared for the act of oral sex. You may not agree with her (why should you care if she just ran a marathon? It’s only her mouth you'll be dealing with), but you must respect her wishes. She'll blow you when she's good and ready. Encourage her, be patient and you'll get yours.

If one of her blow job hang-ups is feeling inadequate, don't get frustrated, this is the second biggest deterrent after hygiene. If she isn’t very experienced, has been told she was no good or is petrified of failure she'll likely be very scared to try again. Everyone wants to be an amazing lover and it’s hard to stomach when we've been told we're lacking in that department. The fact is we're all inexperienced at some point and it's only by blind luck that any of us ever did anything "right" between the sheets. Encourage her with moans and gentle directions, and she’ll soon be confident enough to steal the show. Don’t laugh, jibe or say anything negative even if she is awful -- she won’t be awful forever.

Fear of being judged (religious or otherwise)
If this is one of her blow job hang-ups, it can be difficult to overcome. We may have been taught something specific our whole lives (“oral sex is a sin,” “sex is dirty” or “genitals are dirty”) and then we get old enough to make our own decisions, and realize that we're in a catch-22.

At the end of the day, each person has their own belief system, which may or may not change easily. The best way to work around this is to talk about it openly and honestly. Be respectful of your partner's beliefs, but also discuss the logic in them (or lack thereof), how they came about and how other belief systems differ. Having a frank, open discussion about it -- without being disrespectful -- can bring about a change in thinking, which opens doors instead of closing them. Her blow job hang-ups may be religiously based and these could be much harder to change or overcome, so communication is key to breaking through. Don't pressure her either, as this will only make things worse.

Laziness
Yes, women get lazy about sex -- as do men. Being complacent is one of the biggest relationship sins you can commit, but how do you get around it? Force the issue. We don’t mean illegally or brutally, but make it known that her 12-month annual vacation is over and you want more lusty action. If you must, withhold something that she likes. Don’t be nasty; be clever. Use a women's innately emotional human psychology to entice a response from her or this blow job hang-up will stick around forever.

Lack of reciprocation
Go down on her, schmuck! And do a good job. If you won’t taste her, why the hell should she bother tasting you?

Previous trauma
If your lover was abused in the past, she may have some huge issues with sex, trust and men in general. Sorting these problems out with therapy will aid the situation immensely, and she will need love and support from you. Waiting can be tedious, but it's not just an issue with sex, it's an issue with life and her self esteem. Be there, be kind and maybe one day you'll get yours -- just don’t hold your breath till that day comes. Living with the effects of abuse is not easy for her or for you, but there is help available.

If your lover had a bad experience with another partner such as "head-jamming" (grabbing her by the head and pushing it down) she may be reluctant to engage in oral sex for fear of a repeat performance. This is far easier to deal with, and with some encouragement and begging, she might just give it another go. She needs to trust you though, so work on building that to help her let go of her blow job hang-ups. Let her go at her own pace, and give her enthusiastic feedback.